From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris – Ephesians 5:21 Must Be Included





First, I invite you to see the  presentations included on the Domestic Violence Page.  I thank you will enlightened by the presentation as it is informative about high-risk victims of Domestic Violence. 

I felt something missing from the article written by Ruth Odia. I even contacted the website to assure the article was not missing any information and, I was told it was complete.  But, because of the stats and research that went into the writing of the article I obtain permission to re-publish the article.

I feel strongly about picking and choosing what we will and will not use from God’s word. Therefore, with further research I found the following information that seem to complete the picture as it relates submission. Ephesians 5:21 was missing from the Odia article. But, this scripture is important to the whole relationship/marriage structure.

Not to say there isn’t more information but, this was important to me to bring cohesiveness to the topic. If we are going to use scripture to explain and to teach we need to teach it in its entirety. This would bring obedience into the picture as well as submission and faith.

Per Marie Fortune Director of Faith Trust Institute:

Nature of the Marriage Relationship: A Christian Perspective. Christian teaching about the model of the marriage relationship has traditionally focused heavily on Paul’s letters to the Ephesians, Corinthians, and Colossians. Misinterpretations of or misplaced emphasis on these texts create substantial problems for many married couples. Most commonly, directives on marriage based on scripture are given to women and not to men, and state that wives must “submit” to their husbands. This often is interpreted to mean that the husband/father is the absolute head of the household and that the wife and children must obey him without question. Unfortunately, this idea has also been interpreted to mean that wives and children must submit to abuse from husbands and fathers. This rationalization is used by those who abuse, as well as by counselors, clergy, and the victims of the abuse themselves.

A closer look at the actual scriptural references reveals a different picture. For example, Ephesians 5:21: “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (RSV, emphasis added)

This is the first and most important verse in the Ephesians passage on marriage and also the one most often overlooked. It clearly indicates that all Christians – husbands and wives – are to be mutually subject to one another. The word which is translated “be subject to” can more appropriately be translated “defer” or “accommodate” to. “Wives accommodate to your husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

Per Audry Hardy, Executive Director, The Hope Healing House Foundation.

It is my faith base belief that the scripture as the Holy Word of GOD is perfect. It is those who choose to pervert the Word for selfish purposes that is not fine. The whole belief in New Testament living is completely about submitting to a Higher Power serving others. Submission makes one a Servant Leader not a servant Beater.

Most Abusers will not look at the context of scriptural submission. In my faith base, I accept the responsibility of being the head of my home. My children, however, recognized their mother as the one with the real power in the home leadership. I accepted my role as a head of household but submitted to my spouse’s wisdom, understanding, and intuition. Unfortunately with no compunction there are many who chose bits and pieces of the Holy Word seeking control or power and they submit to no one.


The above information is taken from

For more information about Marie Fortune and Faith Trust Institute see


Suggested Reading

Seven Secrets Women Want To Know – by P. Bunny Wilson

The story of Biblical Story of Abigail 1 Samuel 25:

The Noticer by Andy Andrews