I hope everyone was able to glean something from “It’s Never Too Late to Help Yourself Heal From Childhood Sexual Abuse” by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D. The article contained great in site, encouragement and support to those whose lives were turned inside-out as a child. He also gave explicit direction to the perpetrator “you know who you are” Thank you, Dr.!
I’m always excited about the writers who share their expertise on And He Restoreth My Soul Project. I’m especially excited to introduce our next writer, Joyce Kelly, Ph.D. You ask why! Because when someone you’ve served with in ministry continues to believe in your calling, is willing to lend their voice of encouragement and support; simply put, it is an honor. I know you will take something away from Dr. Kelly’s writing.
Thank you for your continued support to And He Restoreth My Soul Project, and we look forward to serving you.
Darlene J. Harris
Biography of Dr. Joyce Kelley
Dr. Joyce Kelley fondly known as “Dr. J” has a heart and passion for helping others. She gives unselfishly of herself in the pursuit of sharing the healing power of forgiveness.
Joyce holds an Associate Degree in General Studies. A Bachelor’s Degree and Master’s Degree in Biblical Studies. Joyce also holds a Doctor of Ministry Degree. She is currently pursuing a 2nd Master’s Degree in Theology. She is the CEO/Founder of Exalted Consulting a venue to share the Power of Forgiveness through seminars and workshops. Joyce is also the CEO/Founder of Hip Hop Step a venue to transform walking apparatus for those in need. Joyce is an avid reader and writer.
Joyce resides in Southern CA. “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. “ (Matthew 19:26b, KJV.)
Oh To Be Betrayed
An Article by Dr. J. Kelley
Betrayal is one of the most hurtful and devastating things we can go through. Let us first look at the word betrayal, it is a noun. The definition according to Merriam Webster is, “the act or fact of violating the trust or confidence of another.”
To betray someone is a reprehensible act. Someone has placed their trust in you, and may have even given their love. They have given of themselves, given their all only to have their trust and love repaid with betrayal. Trusting can be a difficult task for some, then to have that trust betrayed is a hard pill to swallow. And after the betrayal what comes next. The trust is gone, the love has moved and left no forwarding address. Here you sit with a blank stare on your face and hole in your soul.
The secret was private, the trust was real, and the love was genuine. But now all of that is gone. You sit and ponder the question, how could I have allowed this to happen, to happen to me? It is not your fault that the person chose to betray you. No matter what you think you could have done differently, the betrayal would happen. You have been married for twenty years and your husband cheats. You tell your best friend a secret that you would take to your grave. Before the story is two minutes old, they are on Facebook, Twitter, they are faxing, emailing, texting your secret to everyone they know. You have been betrayed. How do you handle this you ask? Why did they betray you? How could they do this to you? Could it be that they too have been betrayed, and they want to lash out at someone, and make them to feel what they have felt or are feeling at the present time?
Let us turn to an example of how to best handle the betrayal of someone close to you. Judas Iscariot was one of the apostles, he walked with Jesus, ate with Jesus, prayed with Jesus. Yet, he betrayed his friend and his reward, thirty pieces of silver. Although Jesus knew he would be betrayed, he handled it and he forgave Judas for what he had done. You ask yourself if the trust, if the love is gone forever? How will you get through this demoralizing event?
That would depend upon one important factor, am I willing to forgive the person that betrayed me? But the Scriptures state, “14 for if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NIV. So we must begin by forgiving that person. Once we have forgiven them, then and only then may we begin the healing process. We must heal in order to move on. Betrayal is like that sore we have that just doesn’t seem to get well. It doesn’t get well because we must stop picking at it and leave it alone. When we keep going back to the question why, then we will never heal. Instead take a moment and have a conversation with God, ask him to provide you with guidance and understanding so that you may be able to handle the situation.
Once you can get to the point where you run into that person and you have no animosity against them, you are on the way to healing. When you can be in the same close proximity with them and you are ok with it, you are on your way to healing. The ultimate test is when you see that person and have no ill will against them, and you wish them nothing but the best, then you have arrived at Healing Boulevard.
All of us have been or will be betrayed at one time or another, maybe even more than once. The secret is not to give them power over your life, but to heal yourself and move forward with your life. You deserve to be happy and it is up to you to achieve that happiness. Take back your joy and be happy. Betrayal is something that will happen to us at one point or another. We must be prepared as best we can to heal from it and keep rising to the top. Remember, you are important. Never allow someone else to dictate your life. You are a precious jewel, let that brilliance that you possess shine through with a glow.