From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris – Sex on the “Right” Side by Evelyn S. Thomas


Greetings Everyone!

And He Restoreth My Soul Project dedicated the month of April and May on topics related to the protection of our children and we ended with The Good Part About bullying by Rugenia Moore Henry.  Thank you Rugenia!

A few months ago I heard a sermon about the Keeping Sex Sacred by Dr. Tony Evans and my heart was convicted. I knew sex outside of marriage was a sin but my conviction went to the point I asked God to forgive me for my past decisions about sex outside of marriage.  We learn in stages, so it was time for my next learning stage.  I say all of this to introduce the author of our next article. Evelyn S. Thomas, who along with her husband Nathaniel Thomas are contributors to “And He Restoreth My Soul” and are close friends of yours truly.  

The goal of And He Restoreth My Soul Project remains the same, to encourage, enlighten and educate our readers.   Note: there will be more information on this topic in the future if not for your sake for mine.

Serving with hope,

Darlene J. Harris

Evelyn resides in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, Minister Nate Thomas. They have been married since December 1972.

She is dedicated to living her life in a way that glorifies and honors her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Evelyn holds a Bachelor of Science Degree from Southwest Texas State University (Texas State, San Marcos) and a Master’s Degree in Counseling from the University of LaVerne. LaVerne, Ca

Together, with her husband founded and serve as Presidents of Your Family Matters, a non-profit organization with the purpose to…

  1. Restore family foundation with structures that once made America a great nation…the Family Structure…the Value Structure…the Education Structure
  2. Provide programs and services to build solid foundations for strong family relationships.
  3. Develop family members’ self-esteem and respect for life, others, and the laws of the land.
  4. Teach developmental resources, skills, and technologies for family managing and decision-making

Evelyn hopes to help people understand the importance of relations. Everyone is in a relationship of some kind. We need to understand that everyone should be in a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. It is that relationship that must be in place first and foremost. When we learn the principles of that relationship, all other relationships will fall in place and in order.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


Sex on the “Right” Side

by Evelyn S. Thomas

It is highly likely that I have already captured your attention with the word “S-E-X in the title. I hope you are compelled to read more, even if for no other reason than to explore exactly what is the “right” side.

You might ask, “Is it the right side as opposed to the wrong side?” Perhaps you wonder if it’s the right side as opposed to the left side. For the sake of this discussion, we are looking at the right side as opposed to the wrong side. The next thought might be to consider the “right and wrong side of what?” Allow me to make it plain. I’m talking about sex on the right side of marriage… holy matrimony. This simply means, “Sex ONLY after marriage”. We can sum up these thoughts by stating that the sexual act should be experienced only after a man and a woman have made the commitment to be united in marriage and become husband and wife according to the dictates of our Creator, Almighty God Himself. (Read Gen. 2)

In today’s society so many people (churched as well as un-churched) have allowed the change in times to bring with it a change in the way they look at the covenant relationship of marriage. The Bible clearly states that marriage is a lifelong commitment, and covenant between a man and a woman to love, cherish, obey and respect each other. According to this biblical view, there is no room for divorce, extramarital affairs, or shacking (living with someone to whom you are not married).

We know that sex was created and given to us by God. He intended it to be a beautiful and wonderful experience between a husband and wife. God being sovereign and almighty had the perfect plan in mind when He included sex. Sex is the means by which mankind can carry out God’s instructions to be fruitful and multiply. (Read: Gen.9:7, Gen. 35:11)

God knew that a marital relationship would require discipline and work to be healthy and mutually beneficial. For this reason, God, in all His wisdom made sex pleasurable. It creates intimacy and brings a couple closer. Sex unites the couple toward a common cause and focus. The actual exchange during intimacy further unites them and secures their mutual interest for a stable union.

When we proclaim that sex is good on the “right” side of holy matrimony, we are saying that sex is good after marriage vows are taken. In spite of this fact, we realize that in this fallen world there is much sexual activity taking place outside the realm of marriage. In other words, if sex after marriage is sex on the “right” side, we can conclude that sex before marriage is sex on the “wrong” side.

Let us consider some of the consequences of engaging in sex on the “wrong” side (of holy matrimony). First and foremost the Bible says that fornication is sin. (Read: 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 and 1 Corinthians 7:2) Fornication is defined as sexual intercourse between people who are not married to each other.

Some of the greatest challenges we see facing couples today include emotional baggage from previous relationships that had a sexual component. When you have intimate sexual experience with someone to whom you are not married, you create an eternal bond with them on both a natural and spiritual level. You must realize that when the relationship is no longer intact, i.e. you break up, those emotional ties are not gone. Because those ties are still in effect, the possibilities of the occurrences of abuse and disease are high. Once again, the result of sex on the “wrong” side is evident when mankind has chosen to disobey God when it comes to sexual purity and moral responsibility.

In conclusion, we know that God created sex with purpose and for a reason. When we are obedient to His instructions and commands we will experience all the joys and pleasures that come with the gift of sex when we experience it on the “right” side.