Cecil Murphey

Veteran author Cecil (Cec) Murphey hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now he helps others in pain through his candid interviews, seminars, and blog for male survivors.

Be Kind

At the end of emails to good friends, I sometimes add these words: “Be kind to [their name] today.” Occasionally I’ll add, “[Their name] is someone I like very much and deserves your kindness.”

Not everyone responds, and I don’t write it to hear from them. I write the words because I mean them. I also write them because I’ve had to say them to myself many, many times to remind me. When I’ve messed up, said or done the wrong thing, feel low or lonely, that’s when I decide to be kind to myself.

How do I show myself compassion?

My words go like this: “I like Cec; he needs me to support him and he deserves all the love and respect I can give him.”

Be kind to yourself.

Say only positive, loving thoughts to yourself. If I occasionally hear myself bordering on negative and self-condemning words, here’s what I say: “Cec, I’m sorry I felt that way. You don’t deserve the harsh things I’ve said about you. I promise you that I’ll be nicer.”

Loving God, today help me be kind to myself.

And tomorrow. And the days after that.

This post is excerpted from Cec’s book More Than Surviving: Courageous Meditations for Men Hurting from Childhood Abuse (Kregel, 2018).

Permission to use: Veteran author Cecil (Cec) Murphey hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now he helps others in pain through his candid interviews, seminars, blog for male survivors (www.menshatteringthesilence.blogspot.com) and his books When a Man You Love Was Abused: A Woman’s Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation and Not Quite Healed: 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Another book, More than Surviving, will release in early 2017. (www.cecilmurphey.com)