A CALL TO MEN- Porn usage is spiking during the Coronavirus crisis

Porn usage is spiking during the Coronavirus crisis — here’s why that’s a big problem and what we can do about it

  • Originally published on April 8, 2020

Tony Porter

Tony Porter

CEO of CALL TO MEN

I’m saddened — but not surprised — to hear that traffic to porn sites is spiking during this time of physical isolation. It means that not only are we more socially isolated than we were before, but far too many of us — especially men — are turning more than ever to dangerous content portraying and celebrating the objectification of women and normalizing violence against women and girls.

Today’s pornography – which is free and available at the click of a mouse – reinforces the most damaging elements of male socialization: that women are objects, they’re the property of men, and that they have less value than men. Today’s pornography normalizes violence against women and girls and shows a version of sex that has nothing to do with connection or intimacy. Male dominance and pursuing women solely for sexual conquest – both of which are harmful teachings of the Man Box – are recurring themes.

Kids are also seeing this destructive content younger than ever. A colleague shared with me recently that her 10-year-old son was shown Pornhub. That day, her son became a statistic. The average American boy sees Internet porn for the first time at age 10. With increased time on screens during this pandemic, this destructive force has crept even closer.

We want to help families better understand these issues. Here are three actions you can start today:

First: Talk to your kids about porn. Here’s what scares me most: 44 percent of boys ages 11-16 who looked at porn reported that online porn gave them ideas about the type of sex they wanted to try. It’s disturbing because 88 percent of downloaded porn contains violence against women.

We have to get over our cringy-ness and have these conversations. We have to ask what they are seeing, where they are seeing it, and explain what the images are really teaching them. We have to explain how real sex is different from sex in porn. And we have to talk about consent.

Second: Think critically about your own consumption of porn, how it has played a part in how you’ve been socialized to view men, women, and girls, and how it impacts your actions. Does it have a positive or negative impact? Does it make you happy? Or does it ultimately make you feel disconnected, lonely, and in a perpetual state of trying to measure up? Research shows there is a strong correlation between regular porn consumption and poor body image and high relationship anxiety.

Male socialization is deeply rooted in silence. It makes us feel like we can’t talk about how we are feeling when we need connection, and as a result, we often seek out connection in ways that ultimately don’t meet our needs and that devalue and harm others.

Third: Join us in practicing and promoting healthy manhood. The practice of healthy manhood relieves men and boys of a lifetime of trying to measure up, of trying to be man enough, of endless performance, pursuit of conquest, and constant suppression of emotion — all at the expense of women, girls, LGBQ, trans, and gender non-conforming people — as well as themselves.

We recently launched a #HealthyManhood Facebook Group to facilitate conversations about topics like this, and we’re hosting a Community Conversation discussing the impact of porn with Fight the New Drug on Weds. April 15th at 1 pm. ET. RSVP here to join us.

I’m asking you to take a minute today to think about what healthy manhood means to you and to make a commitment to practice it in your life and model it for the young men in your life. Thank you for joining me in this effort.

 

My appreciation and gratitude to Tony Porter from A Call To Men for his permission to republish this article. Please reach out to Tony at A CALL TO MEN for permission to republish this article or other information at 917.922.6738 or at  A Call To Men

 

“Breaking Out of the Man Box” and the visionary for “NFL Dads: Dedicated to Daughters.” Tony’s 2010 TED Talk has been named by GQ Magazine as one of the “Top 10 TED Talks Every Man Should See.”

 

2 thoughts on “A CALL TO MEN- Porn usage is spiking during the Coronavirus crisis Leave a comment

  1. A subject that has long been a problem in society. Pornography and it’s availability, particularly thru the internet has caused countless amounts of damage. I have seen it in so many cases in kids and young people in my community and kids in church organizations that I have worked with. Our society, including governments should NEVER have allowed these content to be available or accessible in such easy manners, let alone at all. To me it gives the appearance that this divisiveness was by design. It’s sad. It’s a battle that almost every family is fighting. The powers of the world really don’t even talk about it. And have decided, conceding “freedom of expression”, to do nothing about it.
    We men of God must continue the fight against the devices of Satan.
    Great article!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment, Porn is a plague that causes more harm than can be expressed. This why I’m glad to support A CALL TO MEN and their efforts to teach boys and men about what it truly means to be a man respected in every area of life. Thank you, Henderson, and I will forward your comment to Tony. Check out their website, and you can also find a YouTube Presentation from Tony on And He Restoreth My Soul Project under Video Clips from Survivors.

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