One and the Same

Childhood dreams have a way of turning into nightmares.  My dream of being a Supreme Court judge soon faded away into the harsh reality of my life.

Dr. Joyce Kelly qKAAB1-86Biography of Dr. Joyce Marie Kelley, DOM

Dr. Joyce Marie Kelley is an author, motivational speaker and minister who loves the Word of God and all that it has to offer. She has been on God’s team for a long time. She is a faithful member of Greater Open Door Worldwide Ministries of Long Beach, CA. As a young child, Dr. Kelley accepted Christ as her personal savior. Dr. Kelley, fondly known as “Dr. J” has a heart and passion for helping others. She gives unselfishly of herself in the pursuit of sharing the healing power of forgiveness.
Dr. Kelley holds an Associate Degree in General Studies. A Bachelor’s Degree and Master’s Degree in Biblical Studies and a Doctor of Ministry Degree. She returned to school and earned a second Master’s Degree in Theology. On July 8th, 2016 Dr. Kelley was Ordained as a Licensed Elder. Dr. Kelley is currently pursuing a second doctorate degree in Theology. She is the CEO/Founder of “Exalted Consulting”; a ministry sharing the power of forgiveness through seminars and workshops. Dr. Kelley is also the CEO/Founder of “Hip Hop Step Inc.”, a ministry to transform walking apparatus for those in need at no cost to the recipient. Her philosophy is that “One should always practice Acts of Random Kindness” (ARK’s).
Dr. Kelley is a child of the most high God, and resides in Southern CA, with her husband. “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. “ (Matthew 19:26b, KJV.)

One and the Same

A poem by Dr. Joyce M. Kelly

Hi, my name is Nova, Avon, Denise, and Hannah.  I am four people, very different, but one in the same.  Nova is the quiet one, she doesn’t say much. Avon is the strong one and she likes sports.  Denise is the nerd of the group. Hannah is the go-getter, she always gets what she wants. We all work independently of each other but we are one in the same.  Whenever I can’t handle things the others take over. They are stronger than me, stronger than I could ever be.

As a child of five years old I often dreamed of being a Supreme Court judge.  I watched Law and Order as often as I could. I could see myself sitting on the bench in my long black robe.  After high school, I would attend Harvard law school and earn a Juris Doctorate, then onto the District Attorney’s office for a few years.  My ultimate destination was the Supreme Court bench, my dream to be Judge Nova.

Childhood dreams have a way of turning into nightmares.  My dream of being a Supreme Court judge soon faded away into the harsh reality of my life.  One night as I lay in bed dreaming my favorite dream, I awoke to severe pain. I tried to scream but I could not.  The funny thing was that I could hear myself screaming at the top of my lungs, yet no sound came out. When he was finished he left my room to return to the room he shared with my mother.  As I lay there trying to understand what had happened to me, I heard people talking. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then all of a sudden the voices became clear. They were all saying the same thing, “No one will ever hurt you again”, “We will protect you”.  I believed them because they sounded so convincing. They were more convincing than me, more convincing than I could ever be.

I guess I was kind of okay after the horrible things that daddy did to me.  When I would go to school the other girls would laugh at me, call me names because of the clothes I I was lostwore.  However, the mean girls were soon put in their place. Avon would show up and set them straight. Avon is a great protector, she protects better than me, and she is a much better protector, better than I could ever be.

One day walking home, a man asked me to help him find his lost puppy.  I agreed, he took me by the hand and lead me into the park. He began touching me and I did not like it.  Hannah came and made the man run away. She was able to see through the man’s schemes and his trickery. Hannah is wise, wiser than me, wiser than I could ever be.

I began to struggle in school and my grades were dropping.  I had to study for a big test but I could not understand the material.  I put my head down on the kitchen table to rest my eyes. When I opened them I had completed all of the study material and I totally understood it.  But it wasn’t me, it was Denise. Denise had come and studied all of the material, completed all of the problems. She was smart, much smarter than me, smarter than I could ever be.

My grandma says that “I have Dissociative Identity Disorder because of the horrible abuse I suffered as a child”.  Grandma says, “I need to see a doctor”. “But we feel great I told her”. We are great, greater than me, greater than I could ever be.

Last night I went to a movie, and it was pretty good, at least until the man started hitting the little girl and ripping off her clothes.  That part of the movie took me back to the age of five when my dad would beat me, rip off my clothes, and do things to me that daddies are not supposed to do.  I was terrified of being in that place again. It brought back horrible memories. The voices came back and I could hear them again saying, “No one will ever hurt you again”, “We will protect you”.  I believed them because they sounded so convincing. They were more convincing than me, more convincing than I could ever be.

This morning I decided to go and see a doctor.  My doctor specializes in “Talk Therapy”. Talk therapy is an alternate name for the various forms of psychotherapy that emphasize the importance of the client or patient speaking to the therapist as the main means of expressing and resolving issues.  He has helped me tremendously.  I have learned to express my feelings and I am now at peace with what my father did to me, and I have forgiven him.  My talk therapy sessions are a great help to me, I look forward to my sessions. I am better now, much better, much better than I could ever be.

Dear God, I want to thank you for Avon, Denise and Hannah, they helped me when I could not help myself.  As we were four different people we are truly one in the same. God, I ask that you protect and keep watch over those that suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, God help them to find and come to know the peace I have.  The peace that has been given to me in the form of Talk Therapy. God, I know that I could not have accomplished the things I have, nor achieved my goal without you being by my side.  I am so very thankful and grateful to you Lord. Thank you once again for giving me Avon, Denise, and Hannah. Together with you, Lord Nova’s dream of becoming a judge will be our reality. Thank you, Lord, and we all said AMEN!

Dr. Joyce M. Kelly can be contacted at beexaltedconsulting7@gmail.com